Deborah’s Monthly Inspirations for January 24 - Tales of The Unexpected….

Jan 02, 2024

I am writing this on 2 January which may rank as the dreariest day of the year but then 2024 has only just turned on its engine and I suppose I may need to give it a bit more of a chance to accelerate into something more interesting. I’m also a bit tired after enthusiastically preparing a meal yesterday. For a refusenik cook, it was a triumph - slow beef curry, flatbreads, coconut rice, tzatziki (evidence below, contact me for recipes). My husband who was completely bowled over by my hidden culinary talent, wasn’t quite ready to go back to ‘wfh’ today but he was ready to start a full-scale family life admin plan. He had made a list. Cars were booked in to be serviced, the dog signed up for Easter kennels, the boot was jam-packed with cardboard only to be derailed by the specially erected sign warning about long delays at the dump. “Everyone needs passport photos taken,” he said so we all traipsed to the chemist and did our best stares. We found the last jar of cardamon pods at Sainsburys and braved IKEA to get a milk frother because this year, we’re going to drink chai lattes. It seemed the rest of the population couldn’t think of anything better to do either. The big carpark was open. There was a lengthy queue for fries. So far, 2024 has been … dull. (Although we are still marvelling at the fifteen-year-old’s smile after her braces were removed at 11.15am this morning).

There’s a tendency to fall into the trap of seeing a new year as a signal to transform our lives, an opportunity to talk about endings and beginnings, a chance to share our reflections and resolutions. Social media is bursting with highlight reels as people mark the passing from one year into another. My daughters have been jumping on the trend of ‘ins’ and ‘outs’ – the things you want to implement in 2024 and the things you want to leave behind in 2023. There’s a temptation to only use the language of better – “I’m going to be healthier, holier, happier, thinner, fitter…”. There’s a rush to establish what you have learned about yourself. But the older and wiser we get, the more we realise that this is all nonsense.

“There’s such a fanfare,” said the New York Times, “about the end of the year and the beginning of a new one, but the difference is only a day. I find myself thinking about this a lot, how we invest the turning-over of a new year with such meaning, but it’s really just a Sunday into Monday, a transition we don’t dignify with ceremony the other 51 weeks. This week, it’s momentous. This week, we make a fuss”.

This from Nadia Bolz-Weber also resonated with me…

Because in 2023, I realised that my husband and I are responsible for eight people - four teenage children and four elderly adults. It can be time-consuming and incredibly anxiety-inducing…

But, in 2023, I did do some learning about myself. I learned that I don’t like setting an alarm, feeling controlled, leaving the house more than two nights per week, being too sociable. In 2023, I said I didn’t want to eat a tasting menu ever again.

I learned that I like routine (Pilates on a Monday, tennis on a Friday) but not repetition. I learned that I am a middle-class cliché (Pilates, tennis, chai lattes). I learned that I will always feel better if I sleep, move and get fresh air. I learned that I need solitude, books as companions, television as distraction, music for inspiration, travel for adventure, some element of discovery in my life, tales I can tell of the unexpected so in this monthly newsletter, where I have ditched the word ‘newsletter’ because it sounds like I am a missionary in a faraway place writing back home, I simply wanted to share some of my unexpected finds in 2023. Maybe they are for you to enjoy in 2024?

Four ‘Unexpected’ Reads

I read a lot of books in 2023, 138 to be precise. My OCD is trying to cope with this not being a round number. I read the hyped ones like Demon Copperhead, Lessons in Chemistry, Love Marriage, Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow, The Whalebone Theatre. I didn’t rate any of them. They were all too long. These are the four I did rate… not necessarily for the quality of the plots, but for the quality of the writing and for their much-appreciated brevity. I did not skip any lines when reading them…

The Weaning by Hannah Vincent

“When professional couple Nikki and Bob uncover their childminder Bobbi’s secret everything changes….”

The Singer’s Gun by Emily St. John Mandel

“After shaking off an increasingly dangerous venture with his cousin, Anton Waker has spent years constructing an honest life for himself. But then a routine security check brings his past crashing back towards him….”

Our Wives Under The Sea by Julia Armfield

“When Leah finally returns after a deep sea mission that ended in catastrophe, her wife Miri knows that something is wrong….”

Nonfiction by Julie Myerson

“Two parents stand by powerlessly as their only child seems intent on destroying herself. Meanwhile the mother - a novelist - attempts to understand her uneasy, unresolved relationship with her own mother….”

Four ‘Unexpected’ Watches

I started to watch a lot of things I also abandoned after a couple of episodes. I did not watch (yet) Oppenheimer or Killers of the Flower Moon because you’ve guessed it, they are too long. But these, I recommend (plus The Bear of course).

Past Lives (this film is on Barack Obama’s favourites too).

The Woman in the Wall (this solidified my interest in dark dramas).

Dickens In Italy with David Harewood (combines my two favourite things, Italy and literature).

Fargo, Season 5 (this being great is not necessarily unexpected as I have enjoyed previous seasons although Season 4 was a tad confusing. Fargo is always quirky. What is unexpected is Keeley from Ted Lasso.

P.S. The Tourist is also looking good although I am only one episode in. I especially liked that Helen’s ex, Ethan is now trying to become an influencer and has delivered a ‘Ned Talk’ in a community centre. “It’s like a TED Talk, but a bit more under the radar,” he says.

Four ‘Unexpected’ Places

This year, I travelled a lot. I did what all the guidebooks told me to do. I saw the sights I was supposed to see. I took the touristy photos. But what stayed with me most were places and experiences slightly off the beaten track.

Villa Necchi Campiglio, Milan (has the best collection of 1930s twinsets).

Roosevelt Island Tram, New York (four minutes of spectacular views).

Ilha Deserta, Faro, Portugal (it was especially deserted at the end of October).

Hotel Le Prese, Poschiavo, Switzerland (this was like Heidi, the Famous Five and the setting for an Agatha Christie novel combined. They’re not lying when they say ‘succumb to enchantment’.

Four Unexpectedly Useful Things

“Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful,” said William Morris. Here are four things I purchased this year that have turned out to be incredibly useful.

A crossbody bag (hands-free is the way to go - men already have this sussed).

A mini electric diffuser (I call this my puffer because it puffs me to sleep).

A travel coffee maker (I took this plus my favourite French press coffee on holiday as I just can’t seem to find coffee as good as this anywhere else).

A lighter (this has revolutionised my ability to light candles as I no longer need to deal with my fear of matches).

And that’s it for my January 24 monthly inspirations. I will be back with my usual Friday afternoon writing later this week. It’s called ‘The Yellow Notebook’.

May 2024 bring you something useful….

Please do get in touch if there is anything that has resonated with you. You can reach me at contact@deborahsloan.co.uk.

P.S. I did do some writing in 2023. These were the most popular pieces.

Days Like This with Deborah Sloan

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